The beast and other things

There is no meaning to the world
there is no meaning to it all
Hope keeps me here. Hope never ends.
And If i could i'd change myself
Id turn myself into a beast
and i would never have to think
of things like hope of things like peace
nothing would be of value
Because value wouldn't be.
Hunger and thirst would animate me
and so would wrath for other things
I would defend myself against them
I'd be a body, I'd go on.
A soul of different quality
My blood would boil no more
_____________
So many things disturb me
I cannot shut them down
The many things that make me
everything that I've done
I wanted to erase them
To fall into a void
But I don't have the power
to grow on empty soil
___________
The house is made of walls
and space is made of objects
War is made of weapons
Peace is made of ideas
and I am full of guilt
Which grows when bad things happen
and all i ask for is an end
the end is made of nothing.
time is made of events
and blindness made of darkness
and hate is made of feelings
and water's made of drops
and anger's made of fire
and fire's made of flames
and flames are made of colour
and coulour made of light
and light comes from the sun
the sun the lord and maker
the only thing of beauty
who decides that I can Be.

If the Gods Care

If the Gods care, I will be happy
but if they don't, I won't complain
I never blamed them for my misfortunes
I am the master of my own pain
If they gods laugh, I will go with them
and if they weep, I too will weep
I will not speak dark words of envy
I myself never asked for peace

A Long Time Ago

A long time ago
there was peace to speak of
then I was born
and space took meaning
and time to torment me, the worthless thing
of flesh, and blood

a long time ago
there was a dream to speak of
but no one was there to dream of it
only low creatures, of passion and instinct
of hunger and thirst, of flesh and blood.

Summersong/Million

Take me if you can
O, Lord of the Summer
I'm bitter and I want revenge

All that I can do
Is sit in a dark place of self pity
swearing to emerge someday
out on the surface,
and bring, doom to the people
Bring death to the children
Of an innocent birth

But no one likes to talk about such things
No one likes to ponder on these things
They love to pretend that all I am is lies
Lies from the deepest Hell.

Take me if you can
Deliver me to the unexplored plains
Of light and honey and water
And virgin rays of many a young sun
To enter the cracks of my skin
And turn me into something other
than what I have been until now.
_________________________

Come and play with me Million
You are the last of Her Daughters
It's easy to hate you and I want you to know
That I am the true Heir
Come on and tell me what I already know
You, last of Her pitiful creatures
I am unpatient and I want you to go
As I'm not a bringer of Peace.

From my rotting carcass

From my rotting carcass
to the highest sun
there is really no one
no one to be found
With a love so radiant
a love so bold and bright
immense as the desert
golden like its sand
I know I will never
ever cease to yearn
to my fading conscience
you'll always return
From the basest creature
to the bluest sky
no one ever loved you
with a love like mine
I am at the bottom
but you are a star
and if I reach upwards
I will never fly
I am at the bottom
but you are in the sky
and If I reach upwards
I will never fly

...and all the wilderness I cross

There is no guilt over there, in heaven
I seek the haven of the lost
where they await- where I expect them to embrace me
and all the wilderness I cross

I dreamt of chaos, I dreamt of woods rivers and valleys
and waters dark of depths no one has ever seen
and I am lost and I am wandering as a pilgrim
and in the wilderness I dream

and for the future of prosperity
I have denied all tainted gold
and for the promise of my sanity
all of the wilderness I cross

I fight the beasts, all of the beasts that roam the wastelands
I wander in the plains that promised me new hope
I turn my back to all the wars that you cared to proclaim against me
and all the wilderness I cross