It is a mystery.
I told you I'm that little boy and you chose to forget. Convenient recollection they call it. Because it is, well... convenient. I know I don't talk much but that doesn't mean I agree with all that you say, with everything you claim to be and to know. I even get angry, from time to time... heh. My body contains an emotional turmoil that is very well hidden. But I'm suffocating and I always sometimes feel like I want to get out of this.
And I want to change, so here's the cliché; I want to become a new person. Yeah, I know, I know. So original. Open hearted, generous, gosh, even smiling... yes. When I try to, I fail miserably. And what I've realised is that I basically don’t have the stomach for it yet. Nor does that suit the enviroment. Well at least, not at this point in life. But first I have to get over this crap, you know. It's too deep and I'm horribly stuck.
I think in the end I might sink with the ship. There's a lot of big hungry fish swimming in the ocean.
I should stop using such stupid metaphors.
Yeah, I know. I'm kind of a pessimist.
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